Today was the first day for my kids in the nursery and I couldn't but share it on my Twin Mummy's Diary page:

I was so excited that finally I got the guts to admit my kids in a nursery, now that they are 2 years 8 months, it was about time it happens but starting yesterday night, the excitement I had began to fade and be replaced with so many mixed feelings.

I was getting so emotional and felt guilt, fear, happiness, sadness but the most evident feeling was the guilt part. I felt like i am throwing them to the outer world (i will not filter my thoughts nor try to beautify it, i will just say it as it is on my mind). I have been taking care of them alone since day one (with the help of my blessed mother) so instead of being happy today that finally i will have some time for myself, i felt bad.

I know it sounds negative but that is what i went through, i wanted to not take them in the morning but i kept reminding myself that they will enjoy having new friends, they have to mingle with people, they need to learn more discipline, they have to know I am not there all the time to cuddle and spoil, they should get prepared to school and so on. But still i was somehow down till i took them back home.

I am a very emotional person (Unfortunately) but I have never felt so much emotions in one day. I have always thought that they are so attached to me and they cant let go, maybe I am also as attached if not more. Today i felt lonely in the morning, wanted to be with them, wanted to tell them I am still here, I will take you home in a while but this was not allowed for their own sake.

But I guess I am being selfish, because i want them in front of my eyes all the time and this is not realistic. Sooner or later they have to merge with the world and they need to mingle with other kids and people. Am I happy? i cant say I am but i am sure that few days down the line, I will get used to it and feel better. Because part of being a mother is to accept and embrace anything that would make your kids happy so as long as they are happy, so will I be...

I just wonder If i went through all this on the first day of nursery, what will i feel when they graduate from university or get married (If I am still there to experience that) LoL