Quick Tips from a very busy mum (Me)

1-Planning is a key to have a successful house: I am not saying that I am that successful but planning helps me get around things. Planning your house cleaning, planning your week’s food menu, planning your outings, your kids’ doctor visits, your “me-time”. It is of utmost importance to deal with your house as if it is a project. Become a fan of to-do-lists. I have a small magnetic white board on the fridge for the important dates and house chores. I have a specific notebook for all my personal / house notes.

2-Start loving the pre-cooked food. For mothers who want to have fresh cooked food everyday at home, it becomes sometime impossible to find time for it on a daily basis. What I started to do and find as a helpful tool is that I plan over the weekend what I would like to cook for the entire week. Accordingly I see which of these dishes can be prepared and stored in the fridge to rescue me when I get super busy over the week days. Always have cleaned marinated poultry ready in the fridge because this is a savior at any given day. Will post easy ideas later for quick dishes.

3-Remember the old saying “Do not postpone today’s chores till tomorrow”? This is another tool for a happy home. If you don’t want to see the laundry piling up or the kitchen basin flooding with dirty dishes learn to be efficient. Don’t wait for long before you move. Many mothers I know have the dishwasher at home as an accessory in their kitchens. Use it more often so you never run out of dishes and always have a neat looking kitchen. Same with laundry, the more frequent you do it the better even if you will wash on a daily basis. Doing small quantities of everything is much easier.

4-Take care of yourself I am a mother of a twin babies and having time for myself is a challenge which I often fail to accomplish. But when I do it, it really makes me feel alive and fresh which positively affects me and my relation with my kids. Take a time off the house every new and then. Leave the kids with your hubby or mother or a trusted relative and go shopping. Learn something new. Revive an old hobby. Don’t feel guilty doing that. It is for the better of your house and family.

5-Lower your expectations don’t be a tough judge upon yourself. It is impossible that everything will be exactly the same after the kids (Especially in the case of twins). You can’t have the time for everything like before. Prioritizing is the solution when you feel over whelmed. Always put priorities of what is more important and divide the major tasks across the week days so over the weekend you find everything in place.

6-Never look at your babies as a burden but rather a joy I came to know and meet people in my life who suffered until they got blessed with a baby. And I know other people who spent years and still don’t have one. So appreciate the blessing and treat them as such. Have fun with them; playing with the kids can take off your shoulder the most pressuring life problems. I spent the first year after I gave birth only focusing on the tasks of feeding and showering, etc. but only when I stopped behaving like that, I began to enjoy my twins more.

Double blessing, double everything

Having twins you always get to hear phrases like “Awwww, they are twins?”, “Are they a boy and a girl?”, “You are a very lucky woman”. I have heard that in some cultures if you have a twin boy and girl, you own a certain amount of luck. But when people tell me this, they forget that the kids are for sure a “double blessing” and a “double everything” else. Having twins a boy and a girl you will firstly experience the “double worlds” of gender cultures. Be ready for it is an intense difference. When you have two kids same age different genders you will be amazed at how different they both grow up; their interests, their passions, the kind of toys that appeal to them, how they behave, the loud voice, the level of activity, favorite cartoon characters and so on.

You also have to endure “double the expenses” since day one. Every pregnant woman i knew was buying one single car seat, we were buying two, single stroller, we were buying a combo one, clothes for one gender, we were getting two sets one for a boy and another for a girl. you buy toys for two especially in our case where we have a boy or a girl you need to buy a car for every Barbie you get the girl and vice versa.

The one thing that concerns me the most is “double the effort”. People keep telling me “Wow you did it, you don’t need to go through pregnancy again”, “You are done for life”, “Good it is a boy and girl so you never consider a second pregnancy”. Even if they were the same gender I wasn't going to consider a second pregnancy. Who can guarantee that this third child is the other gender? Also for single child mothers, you need to know the twin pregnancy is double the pain and can count as two pregnancies at the same time. Anyhow I just want to say that yes we are “blessed” with them and yes we are “lucky” as some people say. They are twice the love, twice the smiles and twice the fun but raising twins especially at the very first couple of years is “double the challenge”.

The worst day ever

Yesterday was one of z worst days ever since I gave birth. Kids were totally out of control & I was so impatient with them. I guess I never got that angry before. I never felt the need to punish them, I didn’t do it but I was thinking all day what can I do to voice out my anger rather than raising up my voice. Shouting at the kids takes you nowhere, it is not that they listen or try to behave afterwards; on the contrary they get more stubborn and provocative that you find yourself shouting even more. It is a never-ending cycle that harms you as a mother and affects the kids psychologically.

I am not saying that I am a perfect mother who never shouts; on the contrary I do that quite often. After all I am a mother of twin babies at a very difficult age but yesterday was too bad that I feel a bit guilty for having been short tempered but it was totally out of my hand. I was so exhausted and they were so active that we were world apart. I couldn’t cope with their behavior and they didn’t respond to my anger. I kept being awake for 5 hours after I put them to bed because I was analyzing every single moment of the day. I tried to give myself an excuse for what I did but I failed. I tried to understand why they were behaving as such so I can behave better next time but I can’t guarantee I will.

I could have easily neglected the day and don’t post anything about it, but I chose not to because I wish it doesn’t happen again. I decided to write about it so I keep reminding myself of it and do my best not to repeat it. I really wish that next time when my kids behave like that, I be a calmer mother. I have always heard that it is called the terrible twos (Since my kids are two years old) but I find it manageable most of the time especially when at home. Yesterday was the first time (in my 2 years maternity history) to doubt my motherly wisdom!

The princess kissed my hand

It was not the first time today but I am really touched this time that I decided it to share it with you. I was sitting having my daughter on my lap when suddenly she decided to kiss my hand. I don’t recall what I did on that very moment to make her do it but I was beyond happy of her act. Is she grateful, does she feel my love, did she want to say “I love you”? I guess I will just enjoy it for the moment and stay uncertain till she starts to talk properly so I can ask her.

On the other hand it also made me question myself if I truly deserve it. Am I the good mother whose kids will always appreciate having? I believe this is a question that haunts me ever since I gave birth. It is more challenging for me because I have two babies not one after the other. I always have an inner assurance that I was going to be by far a better mother if it was only one kid but it is not the case so am I up to it? Am I successful giving them both the amount of love, affection, care and nurturing as if each one was born alone? Am I fair with both or I do prefer one over the other? Were they going to be happier kids having a different mom?

This can go on forever; I have many questions that will remain unanswered until they grow up and tell me how they feel. For now I will enjoy the moment of her kissing my hand; wish I could freeze time and hold her in my hug forever. I am happy that my new best friends’ Koko & Noni love me that much; i do too. When they grow old, this blog will be my gift for them to see how much I loved them and cherished every moment being their mother while I know I really didn’t deserve this double blessing. They will also see I often complain of the effort and the exhaustion but it is part of the experience and they got to share it with me =)

The nanny dilemma

When people know you will have twins, one of the very first suggestions everybody will start to tell you is “ you are going to need a nanny”. I used to hear it as much as I heard “Congratulations”. As they say “the more people push you on something, the more you start to consider it” so it was lingering in my mind. Thankfully I have an amazing supportive mother who take care of me and helped me with my babies for the first 5 months. But after those 5 months I felt that it was about time to get back to my normal life and go back to my home. She was willing to help and support for as long as I need but I was longing to experience being a mom alone with no help.

A couple of days after I went home I discovered that I need help; I called my mother and I told her “while I do need your help the most, I also want to live my stable life at my house, take care of my kids and resume normality”. After long discussions I convinced myself that it was about time to get into the nanny experience. To brief the experience, it was the most horrible one I could ever have. To make it short I got 2 nannies each stayed with me for 2 months but I got ones who don’t sleep over. I hated them; they invade your privacy big time, they interfere in your life, they listen over to your calls, and they check what you eat and what you have in the kitchen, they feel so jealous from every single breath you take.

If you can take care of your own kid(s), don’t hesitate to do it. Get someone to clean your house, ask for caterers help for food but when it comes to your kids; don’t let anyone touch them except you. No matter how much they act they love your kids, be sure they don’t. No matter how they fool you that they will treat them as theirs, beware because they are lying. If for financial reasons you can’t then seek help from grandparents or try to work as a part timer, make the nanny the very last option. When you get one, never leave her your kids alone with them. You don’t feel ok leaving your nanny with your money and gold so you better think the same when it comes to your kids "your most precious possessions". I will write a post to share some of the funny facts I encountered with them soon, stay tuned!

Some facts need to be established

Once you give birth you are starting a new selfless phase of your life. Your life no longer revolves around you but rather on your new guest “guests in my own case”. Whether you accept it or not, all your needs become less urgent priority that comes after anything your kids want even if this includes a diaper change. Taking a shower is no longer a necessity for you; it will eventually become a luxury as your days go by. Now that my kids are two years old taking a shower is nearly the only me time I enjoy in a given a day if at all.

Resting is not an option; not to mention a working mum which is more challenging. You wake up every day with endless to do list for your babies, in addition to the never ending dishes, laundry and having to prepare nutritious healthy food. By the time your kids are in bed and you are about to celebrate being alone quietly at home, you discover that you have no energy for that whatsoever and the only thing you can enjoy is a peaceful night’s sleep that ends up hearing your babies crying the very next morning. Wow, the night has passed so fast and I am going to start all over again; my famous statement every morning.

But no matter how tired you are, try to find some time for yourself on a daily basis. It is a healthy practice that will help you be more productive with your kids and entertain them even more because you don’t have this feeling of being overly abused. I learnt to decrease my sleeping hours in order to enjoy some time for me and my writing every day. Ever since I did that I believe my mood is better and I strive to do my best with the kids and with my writing where both makes me a happy satisfied mother. It is a highly correlated relationship, a win-win situation where all involved parties are advantaged. Try it and tell me your thoughts… Less rest, more time for yourself. Less sleep, more quality time. Less distraction, more peace. Enjoy it <3

Don’t take your mothers for granted

I just realized that I made this blog 3 days before mother’s day which makes me happy because I want to highlight the role of my blessed mother regarding my twin baby experience. She has been the best of help and offered me her utmost support from the first day she knew I was pregnant. She showered me with the best homemade cooked food during pregnancy. She hosted me for endless nights where she used to check on me while asleep to ensure I am ok. She gave me all the psychological support -a mom to be- would ever need. She provided me with the best advices ever being a great mother herself.

I can still remember how happy her voice was the day I called her to tell her I am pregnant. I can also recall how shaky her voice got 5 months later when I told her they are two babies, not one. She used to feel my every pain and every worry. She spent tens of sleepless nights with my babies where they barely slept at all. I guess I am blessed having her and if it weren’t for her, the experience would have been a lot tougher. No matter how much I care or how much I show my love to her, I can never repay her what she did and is still doing till this very moment. My only wish and everyday prayer is to have her beside me till the last day of my life. My prayer to all of you is the same, if your mother is not around or is not there any longer; try to be a great mother for your own kids.

Don’t take your mothers for granted cause more often than now we do that. We assume that we have to have a mother and she has to take a very good care of us. But the truth is many people hate mother’s day because they either don’t have their mothers around which brings them very tough memoires. For others they don’t enjoy mother’s day because they have harsh mothers who don’t offer motherly love as it should be. I know this is shocking but this is the harsh truth about our lives so don’t take your life or mother for granted and be sure to thank her and show her appreciation whenever possible.

Happy belated mother’s day to all of you and your mothers.

Hello readers

My name is Diana and I am a mother of 2 years old baby twins Kareem and Nadine. No words can ever describe how I felt when I knew I was pregnant in twins. I have to be honest I felt more scared than happy. I thought that my first maternity journey will be double the hassle and the effort. I was too overwhelmed that I came down from the Doctor, rode the car with my husband without uttering a single word till we reached home. The first comment I recall saying was “Don’t tell anyone now” as if I was shy or I was not ready to face the world with this piece of news.

As challenging as it sounds, it can be manageable if you have the patience and some tips that make your life easier. It took me quite a long time to figure out that having a twin is fun not only a burden. Choosing not to have a nanny help and being away from my home country made it even more challenging to accommodate the kids. Many times I would burst into tears or just get so crazy or angry. But lately I discovered that it is all in my hands; I am the one who control this whole experience; I can make it fun or I can just keep complaining. I am not saying it is easy, I am not saying it is simple but it can definitely get a lot better if you have more positive attitude.

It is very thrilling that I finally have a place to share all my thoughts, my experience, my tips about how tough and challenging it is to raise twin babies yet how you can make it more fun. I have many things that I am sure will be of great help to any twin mother or even a single baby mother that I will start publishing soon. Initially I was hesitant about the blogging idea since I don't want to get myself distracted from the kids but after thinking thoroughly about it, I feel it is going to be fun and more helpful even to me.

This blog will be a great “venting out” place for both my motherly tips as well as my passion for writing. As of now I just wish that you enjoy the readings as much as I am thrilled about writing them.

I will leave you with this quote which summarizes my 2 years experience “Motherhood is difficult but rewarding”…